


Dicks in the Wind

by sunkelles



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Humor, Implied Barrisoka, Minor Kanera, Space family, The Ezra pairing I'm implying is Ezra/Zare but I'm not terribly picky about how you interpret it, The Mandalorian Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6974215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Sabine goes from falling in love with Ketsu, to drawing dicks on her forehead in the Ghost, to almost loving Ketsu again. </p><p>Or: The soulmate au where whatever you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate’s.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dicks in the Wind

**Author's Note:**

> this soulmate au based on this text post on tumblr: http://whoopsrobots.tumblr.com/post/140846036356/natroze-princess-tuna-let-gavin-free
> 
> if you've read my other two ketbine fics, the tone of this one is somewhere in the middle. it's not as happy as the first one, but it's not as angsty as the second either. 
> 
> title based on "Dust in the Wind". I thought of this and I couldn't help myself.

Sabine is an artist, and she has always used her body as a canvas. She started doodling on her skin before she even knew that they would show up on her soulmate, and once she found that out, she never stopped.

When she was younger, her mother warned her not to draw things on her skin that might end up causing trouble for her soulmate. Sabine had told her that if she caused her soulmate trouble, then they would just write back to her and let her know that. They never have, even after fifteen years. She’s never seen so much as a squiggle on her skin that came from her soulmate.

Sabine supposes that her other half must not be much of an artist, either that, or they must not care too much about Sabine. She doesn’t like to think about that possibility.

She’s never been overly concerned by her mother’s warning. If her soulmate were to draw on their skin and it showed up on Sabine’s, then she’d be overjoyed. She wouldn’t even care what it was. It could be a drawing of a stick figure orgy and she’d be alright with it. She just wants to know that there’s actually someone out there for her, and that she isn’t drawing to no one. She wants to know that she’s not alone.

Sabine hasn't even given much thought to the person on the other side of her drawings for years. She’s not even sure she wants to meet them. Maybe that’s why she has kept her arms covered, even after she and Ketsu ran away from the Academy together.

Sabine likes Ketsu, more than she’s ever liked anyone, really. She thinks that she’s cool and competent and cute, and she trusts her more than she’s ever trusted anyone. She sort of wants to bare her arms now that it’s just the two of them on their ship, but Ketsu always wears long sleeves as well. She supposes that neither one of them is quite ready for that yet. Sabine’s not about to lie her heart on the table if Ketsu’s not willing to do the same.

Then, of course, everything changes.

* * *

 

 

Jakku is a hot, sandy hell planet and Sabine never wants to set foot there again. The air is sweltering hot. It’s not a wet, sticky hot like it is on Nal Hutta, though. It’s a bone dry suck the moisture from your body and leave you as a skeleton in the desert sort of hot. That’s the sort of hot you get when you’re stuck on Jakku hunting a bounty and your air conditioning goes out.

She looks up at the ceiling from her place melting into the couch, and briefly considers moving. It might be cooler outside. After some reconsideration, though she realizes that with the blinding sunlight and all of the sand it couldn’t possibly be any better. Instead, Sabine keeps lying on the couch and wills the air to cool. That, of course, doesn’t work.

Ketsu’s work on the air conditioning unit will hopefully be more effective. She can hear Ketsu tinkering around with it, trying to fix it before they continue hunting this man down. They both decided that not burning alive was more important than the bounty this time, but Ketsu’s the only one of them that’s a good enough mechanic to help in this matter. 

Sabine groans, and turns around slightly, opening her eyes. Ketsu looks like something straight out of her dreams. The sweat is trickling down her muscular arms, and it takes Sabine a moment of starring to realize that _she’s seeing Ketsu’s arms._ She feels a little dizzy, but she can’t tell if it’s from the heat or from that realization.

Ketsu is wearing a royal purple tank top and black shorts, and she wipes a trail of sweat off of her face with her hand. It gives Sabine a better view of one of her arms, and she catches a glimpse of a splatter of gorgeous colors circling round her forearm. She sits abruptly up, and realizes that it is a rainbow circling it, just like the one Sabine drew on her own arm a few days before. There are little splotches on it, from the places that Sabine’s has been worn away by the sweat, but it’s the same drawing. _Ketsu_ is her soulmate. Sabine can barely contain her excited little squeal. She sit up abruptly. 

“Bine?” Ketsu asks, turning away from her project to face her, “are you alright?” Sabine’s breath speeds up, and she bites her lip. She’s suddenly incredibly nervous. What if Ketsu doesn’t _want_ to be her soulmate? What if- what if-

“What is it?” Ketsu asks, setting down the wrench and turning to face Sabine. She takes a deep breath, and rolls her sleeve up all the way. She looks down at her arm, at the splotchy rainbow she drew, and then her eyes shoot immediately over to Ketsu. Ketsu’s violet eyes have grown comically wide.

“You’re my soulmate,” she says, and Sabine laughs out loud, joyful and nervous and a little bit afraid.

“Yeah,” she says, “I guess I am.” She’s trying to seem confident, but she’s terrified. She doesn’t know how Ketsu will react to this, and she doesn’t want to lose her. She _can’t_ lose her. Then Ketsu starts laughing, and Sabine doubts that’s a good sign.

“I’ve known you for two years, Bine,” Ketsu says between laughs, “how the fuck didn’t we figure this out?”

“Neither of us were flaunting it," Sabine says, stifling a little laugh. 

“I should have known it was you,” Ketsu says, sending her a little smile and pointing her wrench. 

“Why?” Sabine asks. She’s a bit curious as to why Ketsu thinks she should have caught on, considering the fact that she’s never seen anywhere that Sabine’s drawn on herself.

Ketsu shrugs, and says, “I’ve seen you draw before. Should have recognized when I saw it on myself.” She wipes some of the sweat off her brow and looks longingly to the air conditioning unit.

"How about you fix that," Sabine says a little awkardly, "and then we'll talk." Ketsu breaths an audible sigh of relief. Then, she gets back to fixing the air conditioner and Sabine forces herself to move around in the heat to walk to her room. She takes a pen off her desk. Then, Sabine draws a little picture on her hand, and it’s finished the moment that she hears the air conditioner _finally_ kick on. She writes “thank you” on the palm of her hand and nearly runs out of her room. The living room will cool off quickest, she tells herself. Coming out immediately has absolutely nothing to do with getting back to Ketsu quickly.

Ketsu slips the wrench back into her belt and glances at the air conditioner which has just recently restarted conditioning air.

“It’s fixed,” she says proudly. Sabine breaths a sigh of relief as she can feel the cool air start to circulate through the ship. Ketsu bites her lip as she glances awkwardly at Sabine’s forearm, and Sabine can’t help but starting at Ketsu’s. They both seem determined to wait for the other start the inevitable soulmate conversation. After a minute or so of awkward silence and cooling air, Ketsu decides to change the topic entirely.

“Let’s go get our bounty,” Ketsu says, her whole delivery sounding completely forced. Sabine, however, isn’t about to call her on it. It’s not like she was about to start the soulmate conversation either.

“We might want armor first,” Sabine says, glancing over at Kestu who is wearing only a tank top and a pair of shorts.

“Armor first,” she says, “then bounty hunting.” They put on their armor, and then get back to bounty hunting. They’re able to drag the zabrak in before the end of the day, and they end up staying the night on this hell planet.

 

Sabine falls into her bed the moment that they get back, and is asleep soon after her head kits the pillow. The next day, Sabine wakes up with poetry written all across her legs. Sabine’s breath catches in her throat, but in a good way, in the _best_ way. She wears her sleep shorts and a loose fitting t shirt to get some breakfast and caf, and Ketsu wears nearly the same thing. It seems that now that they both know they’re soulmates and have broken their unspoken rule, neither of them much feels like reinstating it.

Ketsu is leaning against the counter with her cup of caf in hand.

“Morning Bine,” she says.

“I, um, I liked the poetry, Ket,” Sabine says. She blushes the moment that the words leave her mouth, and Ketsu smiles behind her cup of caf.

“You’ve been drawing me all these nice pictures for years,” she says, “I thought I should try to return the favor.” Sabine’s face turns even redder, and she looks away. She doesn’t know if she should thank Ketsu for complimenting her art, or ask her what being soulmates means for them or say something about the caf or?

“Do you want to watch a holovid?” Sabine ends up asking. They don’t have anything they need to do, and the job they completed yesterday scored them enough credits to last a month. They can spare a day, and Sabine doesn’t really want to fumble around through a conversation.

“Sure,” Ketsu says. They fall onto the couch and watch crazy action vids and bad teen vids, and eventually they end up cuddled up together as if they’d known they were soulmates for months instead of an hour. Sabine doesn’t understand how it took them this long to figure it out.

 

For the next months that they are together, Sabine draws Ketsu beautiful pictures and writes on her skin constantly. They’re mainly nice messages, just to let Ketsu know that she’s thinking of her and that she loves her. Ketsu writes things back, messages, poems, and she even tries drawing a few times. The drawings are mainly stick figures, or awful renditions of animals, but they still make Sabine smile. After fifteen years of not knowing her soulmate, Sabine is overjoyed to see anything from her. Ketsu writing back to her is a reminder that she’s there, and that she loves her. Sabine doesn’t think that she likes anything better than that.

 

Of course, nothing good can last. A while later, Ketsu leaves her die. She grabs their mark and leaves Sabine with a blaster pressed to the back of her head, and it’s only thanks to Sabine’s ingenuity and fighting skills that she didn’t end up a splotch on the dirty ground. Ketsu said that she loved her, and she’s her _soulmate._ Sabine loved her, trusted her, but Ketsu still left her to die. She feels ill as she treks to the nearest inn.

 

She has her armor on her, two blasters, a pen and a few credits shoved in her pack. She has enough for a few days’ worth of food and a night or two in an inn.Sabine tries to wash her arms clean, but the poetry and notes from Ketsu’s side won’t come off.

 

“Love you, Bine,” is sprawled around her ankle and Sabine scribbles it out herself because she can’t stand looking at it. She coats her legs in black ink, erasing every trace of Ketsu’s words from her skin.

 

She falls into the bed, and tries not to cry as she tries to work out how she’ll live her entire life now. She and Ket had planned their forever together, and now Ketsu has thrown that plan into the fire and pissed on the ashes. She can feel her chest burning and tears streaming down her face and she digs her face into the pillow, trying to pretend, for a moment that she’s still on their ship and nothing has changed.

 

She falls asleep, and she dreams of nothing but Ketsu and that life that they might have had. It’s worse than any nightmare could have been. When she wakes up, she draws all over her free arm. She draws pictures of dicks and of Ketsu’s ship on fire and she writes “fuck you” and “damn clan Onyo” and “Ketsu can burn on Mustafar” and hopes with every bit of her being that Ketsu reads it and feels as bad about herself as Sabine does. She wants Ketsu to hurt half as much as she’s made her hurt. It’s only fair.

Sabine is only on her own for a few weeks before she finds a group of rebels, and reluctantly joins them. She wants to do good things for the world, but she’s also hesitant to trust anyone again. If her soulmate betrayed her, what’s to keep these people from doing it?

 

All of the rebels are nice. Maybe _nice_ isn’t the right word to describe them, but they’re all friendly and they believe in something. Except the droid, who only believes in how fun it is to fuck with them when Hera isn't watching to scold him.

 

But the rest of the crew members all believe in something. She can tell that Hera’s first priority is always to the mission, which is something that Sabine can respect, but doesn’t necessarily agree with, at least if she doesn’t have all of the details behind the mission. Kanan’s first priority seems to be Hera, but the rest of them and the mission come closely after. And Zeb seems to want a family to care about after losing so much so quickly.

 

Sabine likes them, is even starting to trust them, but she sort of wishes that Hera and Kanan could be a bit more subtle about how happy and in love they are. They could at least be a bit more subtle about the soulmates part. She knows that there’s no way that they could know what it’s doing to her, because she’s never mentioned it, but it still hurts. Every time they write a message to one another when the communicators break down, or doodle on their arm because they’ve gotten bored it bores another hole into her heart.

 

She draws a dick on her forehead and dares any of them to question it. She feels a little better knowing that wherever Ketsu is, she’ll have to deal with _that._ It's one thing to draw obscenities all over her arms, because they can cover that up in any situation, but she knows Ketsu won't be able to get rid of this one easily. It gives her a vindictive sort of joy. She comes out of her room, and finds Hera almost immediately. The older woman doesn’t even look surprised, which Sabine would find insulting if she didn’t know the sort of shit that Zeb and Kanan can get up to.

“Soulmate troubles?” Hera asks cautiously, and Sabine glares.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she practically growls. Hera looks a little shocked, but she doesn’t press. Sabine sits down at the table, and decides that this was probably a horrible idea, even if it makes Ketsu's life harder. When Zeb walks in, he laughs but he doesn’t ask what the kriff is going on. She appreciates that about him. He doesn’t pry. Chopper doesn’t even notice that something is different. Sabine appreciates that about him. He’s a droid, and he either doesn’t care about what his humans do half the time or doesn’t understand it.

Sabine is drawing a sunset on a sheet of paper at the table when Kanan sits down beside her. She realizes that this is either going to be about the drawing on her head or the one on the paper. Sadly, she doubts it will be about the sunset.

“That’s an impressive penis on your head,” Kanan says, in such a serious voice that _Sabine_ actually starts laughing.

“I’m a good artist,” she says, and it’s only half a joke.

“You are,” Kanan agrees in an instant, and Sabine is a little taken aback. The only person that ever complimented her on her art before was Ketsu. She doesn’t like the comparison. Her face falls, and Kanan notices immediately.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks cautious.

“Not really,” Sabine says. It’s less of a growl than it had been with Hera, which is to be expected. Hera acts more like a commanding officer than anything, and while Sabine respects her, she doesn’t really want to talk personal issues with her. She doesn’t want to talk about them with _anyone,_ but she’d much sooner go to Kanan than Hera.

“Do you want Hera and I to tone down the soulmate stuff?” he asks. He sounds like he’s making a legitimate offer. Sabine thinks that it might help, but she doesn’t want them to have to do that. Kanan and Hera shouldn’t stop acting grossly in love just because Sabine’s soulmate is a bag of dicks.

“Don’t bother,” she says.

“Are you sure?” he asks, “it seems to be bugging you. Or did you just draw that for fun.” Sabine sighs. She knows that she could tell Kanan to fuck off effectively, but she’s never actually talked about this before. She kind of wants to.

“You know,” he says, “one time I got really pissed at Hera, and I did something a bit like that.”

“Really?” Sabine asks. She can’t imagine either of them doing this, or anything close to it. She can’t imagine how angry Hera would have been with him.

“Yeah,” he says, “I drew big bushy eyebrows on when she had an important meeting with Fulcrum.” Sabine can just imagine the look on Hera’s face, and she’s laughing far harder than she should be. It takes her a minute to calm down to the point where she can talk.

“Did it make you feel better?” Sabine asks.

“Not really,” he says, but he sounds a little amused now, “it just ended up pissing Hera off. A word of advice: you don’t want to piss Hera off.” Sabine laughs even harder at that.

“Is this making you feel better?” Kanan asks gesturing towards his own forehead. Sabine groans as she realizes that he’s lead her into a trap. She doesn’t have to take the bait. She knows that she doesn’t, but she kind of wants to.

“Maybe? I- it makes me feel better when I make her feel worse,” Sabine says softly.

“Sure, she’s got a dick drawn on her face,” he says, “but so do you. This soulmate thing’s a double edged sword.” He shrugs, and Sabine glares. His soulmate problems aren’t applicable to _her_ soulmate problems.

“I can’t just give up because it hurts me too. That’s like _pacifism_ ,” she says, and the word comes out as a curse, “it’s like… laying down your weapon to die.” Sabine realizes the moment that the words leave her lips that they aren’t what Kanan wants to hear, but she can’t _help_ herself. She’s a Mandalorian through and through, and they fight their battles to the end.

“I’m not saying that you should forgive them,” Kanan says, “my solution’s actually really spiteful. And petty.” Sabine raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” she asks skeptically. She can see Kanan acting like that, but he seems to be more in “mentor” mode than in “let’s spray paint butts all over the imperial buildings” mode today.

“Just hear me out,” he says, and Sabine laughs but decides that she will. Whatever he has to say is worth listening to, whether or not she’ll take his advice.

“If you stopped writing stuff to them, then they’d think that you’ve forgotten them. They’ll think that you’ve totally moved on, and you’re so happy now that you don’t even have time to hate them anymore. I think that would really piss them off,” he says. Sabine sends him a skeptical look.

“I also think it would be healthier for you,” he says, “you know, if you didn’t have to look at “fuck you” every time that you looked down at your hand?”

“What if I like looking at "fuck you"?” she asks, and she cringes a little bit. She sounds like a whiny teenage girl on a holodrama.

“Well,” he says, “if you like remembering whatever it is that happened to you every time you look down at your hand, I guess that’s your business.” Sabine sighs.

“It just makes me angry,” she mutters.

“Anger leads to hate,” he mumbles, almost under his breath.

“What?” she asks.

“Um, anger leads to hate,” he says, “or maybe it’s hate leads to anger? Or something leads to fear? I know it’s something like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sabine says.

Kanan sighs, and says, “You know, I don’t either.” She grins through her confusion, and hopes that ends whatever part of today has been dedicated to lectures. She doesn’t think that she can take anymore of that today. Kanan takes a deep breath, and then starts back up again.  

“If you really want to keep drawing dicks on your head,” Kanan says, “we aren’t going to stop you. But Hera will probably make you wash them off for missions.” He stands up, and starts to make his way out of the room.

“You don’t care if I keep doing it?” Sabine asks, real confusion in her voice. She’d think that he would have more of an opinion on it than that, considering the length of that lecture.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” he says with a little self deprecating smile, “I’m not exactly your dad.” Then, he flies around the corner and out of the room. Sabine bites her lip, and tries to ignore the little bit of sadness that she feels from it.

 

She goes to the bathroom and washes off every speck of ink that’s engraved on her skin. She washes off the dicks, the fuck yous and the hells and the damn its and the hates. She washes off the Onyos and the Ketsus and the last remnants of rainbows and watches the ink spill into the sink with the water. She actually feels _clean_ now, like she can go on without Ketsu, without even thinking of her.

 

She feels free, like her life is finally hers again. She feels like she can finally start living it again. She does not draw on her skin again for months.

 

She fall into a routine with the rest of the crew, and really starts to feel at home. It starts to feel like a family, and then, of course, the whole balance gets thrown off when Ezra joins the crew. She ends up liking him well enough, but he throws everything off for weeks. Then, once everything starts to settle into a routine again, Sabine starts to notice a few things.

 

Hera and Kanan continue to be ridiculously obvious as they write each other messages on their skin, but Sabine learns fairly quickly that most people aren’t as secretive about their soulmates as she and Ketsu used to be. She learns a few weeks later that Zeb might have drawings underneath all his fur, but he doesn’t care enough to look. She finds out that Ezra gets random imperial symbols and notes from an Academy student written on his palms, and Hera and Kanan expressly forbid him from writing any information about himself or his location on his body, lest it get back to his soulmate.

 

 

A while after they join the rebel fleet, she learns that Ahsoka Tano has facial tattoos that almost certainly came from her soulmate. They are a sprinkling of diamonds across her nose and cheeks, and Sabine knows better than to ask about them when she does not see anyone in the fleet with a matching set. She knows that not everyone is on good terms with their soulmate.

 

She is almost over it. She hasn’t quite forgiven Ketsu, but she has decided that she has to stop being angry. She supposes that it’s a start.

 

And then, they meet each other again.

 

They’re on the ship that they used to share, and though neither Ketsu nor the ship has changed, Sabine can barely recognize them.They dance around the issues for what seems like hours before Sabine finally makes them talk about them.

“You still want to join Black Sun,” Sabine says, sounding disappointed in her.

“They’re prestigious,” Ketsu says, “and I ain’t got a whole lot of other options.”

“You could join the Rebellion,” Sabine says, and oh Force. _Oh Force_ she wants her to. She didn’t even realize how much she missed her until she put that damn idea in her head.

“Didn’t think that you still cared, Bine,” Ketsu says with some mix of feigned arrogance and actual hurt in her voice, “what with all the “fuck yous” and the dicks. I think that “go to Jakku and die” was my favorite.” Sabine can feel her rage building.

“Actually,” Ketsu says, “I think my favorite was that dick that cummed fire. All the dicks were good.”

“You- you can’t be this casual about this,” Sabine says, and Ketsu’s laughing and acting like nothing has changed since they were flying around the galaxy together. She’s acting as if they haven’t gotten separate lives and Ketsu didn’t _leave her to die._

“You left me to die,” she says, and her voice cracks and the floodgates open and it’s like she never had any control at all.

"Bine-" 

"You don't get to do that," Sabine says, "you can't just act like nothing ever happened, like nothing we had  _mattered."_

“I thought you didn’t care anymore,” Ketsu says softly, “when you stopped writing to me. At least with the graffiti, I knew you still gave a fuck, even if you hated me.”

“Of course I care,” Sabine says, her throat starting to constrict.

“Really?” Ketsu asks, “even after I left you?”

“Yes,” Sabine says, and she realizes that she means it, “Ket, yes.” Ketsu looks at her, bright purple eyes filling up with hope and she grabs her hands.

“Then come with me again,” Ketsu says and she waggles her eyebrows, “this ship was made for two.”

“I can’t, Ket. I have a family now,” Sabine says, and she realizes it's the first time she's ever called her crew that out loud. Ketsu’s face falls. She drops her hands immediately.

“But there’s room for you in it,” Sabine says, her voice barely above a whisper. Ketsu’s face lights up brighter than Ahsoka’s sabers.

“Do you have a pen?” Ketsu asks.

“Why would _I_ have a pen?” Sabine asks innocently.

“I know you. Bine,” Ketsu says, “you have a kriffing pen.” Sabine grins as she takes two pens out of a pouch in her armor, and she hands one to her. Ketsu starts writing on her hand, and Sabine raises her own to look at the writing immediately. The word’s “I’m sorry” appear quickly on her own hand. 

Sabine grasps her own pen, and writes, “I forgive you” on her blank hand. It’s no love confession, but it’s a start.

Ketsu wraps her arm around Sabine’s shoulder, and then brings her in for a hug. Their bodies are warm against each other, and it feels like old times. Sabine remembers why she loved her so much, why she might love her again.

“Come on,” Sabine says, breaking their hug but taking her hand, “I want you to meet my family.”

“I guess I have parents to impress,” she says. Sabine laughs, and thinks about how much they will all hate her on sight.

Sabine can’t exactly say that Ketsu doesn’t deserve a little animosity from the crew. She grasps her hand a little tighter before she lets go, and Ketsu sits down in the pilot’s seat, and Sabine in the copilot, just like old times. She sends Ketsu a smile, and they set a course to meet back up with _The Ghost_. She can’t wait for Ketsu to meet the family.

 


End file.
